We write

We write to release

Rage

Inner peace

Inner turmoil

We write

because anger is unbecoming

Shades of dragons and lizards where puppies and cute kitties should be

We write

because the demons within are clawing at the bubble

causing lesions in an already rupturing wall 

We write

because if we do not

that fine line we walk

will split our world into a million pieces

I write 

because what burns within

burns brighter outside my former self

I write because it stitches the broken pieces back together again

Shell

to write this is to admit infallibility 

to admit my own shortcomings 

doing the same thing over and over

and expecting a different result

to look on past failures and understand defeat

then to look at present perils and see past spectres

to look into your eyes and read my follies

i keep looking to you

as some sort of hero 

a saviour to my desires gone wrong

unwilling to hear myself say 

that you are only about you and what you can acquire

i keep clutching to our past

romanticizing our connection

vision in shades of pink and hues of red

passion imbued with romance on a bed carved for death

but rosy eyes shade reason

darkening vision

when in reality the connection is grey 

i am one of one hundred in a sea of damaged shells

the vision never holding truth

with yours speaking truth from the highest peak

i am one in a sea of many

nothing special, nothing unique

to you i am a fix for a five minute treat

never understanding if i was so daft not to see

or if i never imagined one could view beauty with such commonality

what you find so common must and will cause your demise

death at the hands of thing you despise

wrapping you in the embrace of cold calculation

smothering you with passionate demise

caressing your very insides with the ice of hidden contempt

slipping the sheath of dark gray death into the heat of your soul

staring as what was within flees its tortured cage.

I stand peering down

looking at what used to be

years of comraderie, some said love

now a distant memory

shedding a tear for the woman i used to be

before he met me.©

Avionelle L Calder

2011©

To My Love

I have had others,
But it is you that fills my soul
It is you that I think of each night
When the lights are low and the darkness covers my soul
You touch my every waking moment,
And my subconscious dreams.
When we quarrel,
I miss you more than when we are apart
I rush through my day, longing to see
you at the day's end.
I want you to complete my world.
\When we are apart,
I smell your fragrance on my skin
You have become a part of my soul
My greatest form of joy and,
my greatest form of sadness.
But you and I have
What most people search their entire lives for
We have LOVE

Avionelle Lindy Calder

Copyright © 2009

The Soul

Innocence lost,

The fallen angel yearns for her lost soul

Her tears stain the ground and begin the crimson tide.

The song of a soul in pain

The cry for memories long gone

The past that shatters the mist of the present

A soul in torment

I long to be free

I call your name from the hilltops

I beg you to hear my voice,

But your answer comes too late

My soul falls to the Darkness.

I long to be with you

But my soul won’t free me,

from the prison that I have built.

I know that you hear the terror in my voice

I know you see me standing on the edge.

But your hand is not long enough

to keep me from the rivers of insanity

I watch as you try to look into my soul

But I do not know you, I cannot see you

My love blinds me; but it does not

give me the strength to step out of the jaws of insanity

I step away from the fantasy of life

And into the real world of insanity

Where the borders of my world have jagged edges.

I embrace you but my spirit does not know you

The rage that consumes me will not accept the human touch

I long to feel you against my skin

To hold you, to become one with you,

But I do not wish to hurt you.

I have not embraced the force that rages in me

The power that gives me the strength to kill

I want to stand atop the highest mountain

and leap, watching my body hurtle to impending death

But love for you keeps me awake

Each night I think of you

and each morning I have the will to live

Sometimes I see you and the rage courses through my veins

The heat of anger eats at me like a cancerous growth

Daily I breathe the venom of my own hate

It does not hurt me, only those around me

Come back to me

Come, and let me wrap my arms around you

Let me kiss the flesh of your lips

Let us mingle and let all that I have course through you

Let my rages depart and touch the center of your soul. ©

Avionelle Lindy Calder

Copyright © 2010