Goodbye to...

 
There is an old folk tale that tells of Carnival being from the old slavery days.  A Clarion call saying goodbye to flesh, a declaration of a new freedom.

You will note I said an old folk tale because I cannot imagine that any of that is true when i look out at what is passing for Carnival and Mas these days.  The distorted merriment escalating to debauchery with men and women freeing themselves to songs which can in polite terms be described as rubbish.

What is this Carnival culture that many speak of?  What is this beautiful sight that people leave far and wide to come and view?  You are asking the wrong Trini.  I have not seen real Carnival in well over 20 years.  I won't compare it to Brazil, apples and oranges.  Our mas is said to have a history rooted deeply in the days of slavery, a full expression of our desire and further delivery of freedom.  It was a way to speak out our hurts and pains and grievances a way to code our messages so that "massa" would not understand.  This was the backbone of the culture we embrace.

Where is that culture now, first it was relegated to Carnival Monday Morning when people were too busy with revelry to notice but where is it now?  What has become of the traditions of old?  What do we sing of now?  "If yuh know yuh giving a horn raise yuh hand!"..."Advantage!"...."Mash up de speaker box"...yes culture at its best, lyrics to make Lord Kitchener get up and slap somebody.

The beautiful mas we boast about? Where is that?  In any place that sells lingerie and just add on a pack of beads.  Whatever happened to Mas like what Peter Minsahall would produce? Where a clear thought process was evident?  Where a story was being told?  I ask you, what are you trying to tell me when one section of your band is red, the other blue and another green, varying only in the colours of the two feathers and five beads you have sewn on to some piece of underwear?  This is the culture you so happily boast to the world? Really?

As I said much earlier, we get what we allow.  No one will stand for something good and if every mas band brought out fully clothed band sections, it would be a Carnival with only crickets chirping.

Carnival was supposed to be saying goodbye to the flesh, a flesh which has now been totally exposed.  In what sane world does Carnival mean to forget who you are for two days and do all and sundry and then you wonder why the baby and AIDS population exponentially increases around that time.  Why does Carnival now equal a goodbye to sanity?

Where has the art form gone?  Men who can sing about Rum & Water and win two million dollars, men who come back to an art form because the prize money has increased.  We have thrown away passion for the art form so that we can bow down to the almighty dollar and give him full praise and in so doing we have not said goodbye to flesh, not at all; we have said goodbye to standards, sanity, beauty, poetry and real art.

Stairway to heaven - Apocalyptica

What Have We Done?

Grief is the only word that might be able to sum it up.  Horror may be another.  Those many years ago when i learned of the death of Akiel Chambers, my heart fell as both the horror of his death and his tender age saddened me.  I thought on the many things he would not be able to do, the many things which would be left unsaid.  The graduations and the wedding that his mother was deprived of.

Then I actually sat and thought on it, what manner of monster it would take to do that to a mere child and further hide his body, only to later drop it in a pool.  There are no words for the pain that gripped my heart as I felt as though I had lost my own family.

What was even more disconcerting was the way in which his case was handled from allowing the investigation to run cold to the destruction of evidence.

Over the years we have lost many more children and now we fast forward to 2011 where we have just lost another.

I will not go into the laws that should be passed and legislation that should be in place.  I can only look at this from the human aspect.  I can only look at this as if these were my brothers and sisters, my children, my nephews and nieces.  I can only speak from the heart wrenching pain I feel at another senseless death, another lost child.

I will not get into which side crafted the bill and which side should push through the bill.  I don't care who thought the bill should be stricter or who thought the bill was not strong enough because as we argue the merits of this, somewhere, another sick soul may be crafting the death of another innocent, another person may decide to exact his revenge on the someone's son or daughter.

As you stand on your soap box and lay blame left and right our streets are running red with our future.  As you continue to argue further, think on the fact that, in the midst of your quarrels you may one day see there is no one left to govern.

When will it be safe for our young ones?

At whose feet do we lay the blame?  Somewhere a mother gave birth to an innocent and somewhere another mother unknowingly gave birth to a monster.  Have we failed our children? That must be the case, we have raised them to devalue life.  They are desensitized to violence and crime, rape and murder.

Where did it start or even better than that, where does it end?

As we continue to take 'ME' out of every equation, we allow our society to slide down a slippery slope.  Yes there must be legislation but there must also be nurturing, foundation, values.  A man must be able to value every life that he comes across.

Have we gone too far from value and too close to apathy so that we can no longer see what we are doing?

What have we done?

What have we become?

Down Low (or what happened while no one was looking)

As the country embraces the season of wining down low, wining to de side and all other forms of merriment, the world and indeed the country continues to turn. While we laid down in a state of Carnival slumber, somewhere, someone was discussing the ramifications of the term "Axe the Tax".

Can it be that in a country filled with intelligent, right thinking persons that no one noticed what I can only call a bait and switch promptly followed by varying degrees of semantics?

What is the real scope of what is being fed to us? The length and breadth of this tax policy.  Is it that the one proposed by the previous administration, the same one which was cried down by the populace at large was a lower rate on a higher amount?
If that was the case then the fact that is has been in effect "Axed" means what to us? There is no property tax or is it being called by a different name?

This administration has alluded to the fact that in the face of country wide disapproval, they have indeed "Axed the Tax" and rather have reverted to what was previously there...but some are asking if the amount has increased to meet the 7.5% rate which was already existing.  How can this be if all that was done was a simple reversion?  It may be time to drop all the fancy words and double speak and simply come forward and let the population know what is amiss with this policy.  Explain to us exactly what has happened.

It is not enough for you to say that you have done away with what the previous administration proposed and have magnanimously left us with what we were always "comfortable" with.

As the governing body, it remains your duty to do what is best for your citizenry.  It is up to you to do what will be of benefit to us.  It is not your job, in the face of no income earners to attempt to reap all your income from the very people that put you in a governing position.  Maybe a better option would be to devise ways to generate sustainable income (a plan which is long overdue and one which you should have come into office with I might add).

While most were wining to the side did you in fact revert to the previous rate at a new increased amount?
Have you crafted your own version of the Property Tax and given it a new glittering name?

A rose by any other name smells the same.

It is time for the double speak to end, it is time for us to stop playing semantics and hiding behind misquotes and misrepresentations.

In essence it may very well be time for you to do something that your entire administration has yet to do: Come clean with the Trinidad and Tobago population.

Helter Skelter Pelter

So celebrities mess up all the time and we look on as they are reprimanded for their thoughtless actions. Not so in Trinidad. We all looked on as a "Chutney Soca Star" roused the onlooking crowd into a riotous frenzy. We all heard him apologize, claiming he was ashamed of his actions.

Well let me tell you sir, we are ashamed for you. I personally am ashamed for a country that glorifies violence and rewards tomfoolery.

In any other nation this so called "star" would have stripped of his right to endorse anything. His contract would have become void. Not so in Trini. One promoter canceled one children show and rightly so, and one organization pondered over whether said artiste should be allowed to perform. Only to allow this miscreant to go on and perform days later and they will continue to allow him to perform, rewarding his foolish behaviour.

This is why we are in the perilous state we are in, we do not hold persons to high moral grounds, we encourage nonsense in almost every form, at times we applaud it. And then the cry is "Why is this country in such a state?"

As a nation we stand for nothing, allowing those in high office and so called celebrities to get away with everything short of murder...there is in essence, no accountability anywhere.

For this reason we have politicians who believe it is okay to twist words and misrepresent ideas. For this reason we have local celebrities who believe it is okay to slap, cuff and knock down others because there will be no fallout from it.
For this reason we have artistes unafraid to take to the stage, use obscene language and then have their management insist that 'we' owe them an apology.

We accept everything and stand for nothing.

The 'party down' mentality persists. You can't have a real protest because this is Carnival season and there are too many fetes that you might miss.

The country circles the drain but you want to 'wine to de side'

When did we become an apathetic bunch, unwilling to stand up for anything?

Looking out at the rest of the world, they are no longer willing to accept the neatly dished out status quo. The have decided to fight for what they want, what they believe they deserve.

When will it be our turn?

Or is it that we are only willing to fight for the right to party??

Moral Dilemma

I want to touch you but something gets in the way.

I want to close my eyes
And feel your lingering touch on my skin.
but my spirit battles with me
I want to forget my inhibitions,
forget my spirit, forget myself and let it be like it used to...
\Those days of enjoying each other for hours
Expressing our sensuality in every way
Riding the waves of your pleasure to experience
the peak of insurmountable joy. . .
But now that has ended,
The passion visits with the burden of maturity
The reality of religion. . .
And the onset of morality
\Even though I want to love you
with the language of our sensuality.
I am held back by my soul.
Without the eternal circle,
We may never touch again.

Avionelle Lindy Calder
Copyright © 2009

To My Love

I have had others,
But it is you that fills my soul
It is you that I think of each night
When the lights are low and the darkness covers my soul
You touch my every waking moment,
And my subconscious dreams.
When we quarrel,
I miss you more than when we are apart
I rush through my day, longing to see
you at the day's end.
I want you to complete my world.
\When we are apart,
I smell your fragrance on my skin
You have become a part of my soul
My greatest form of joy and,
my greatest form of sadness.
But you and I have
What most people search their entire lives for
We have LOVE

Avionelle Lindy Calder

Copyright © 2009

The Soul Revisited

The circle begins, the cycle rotates.
I close my eyes as I hear the now familiar words.
"Tell a soul and die"
I shut my eyes to the poison of the world
My soul mixes with the blood of desire
As the roving eye touches my body;
Inside I cry and hope that it is all a dream
As the tainted hand touches the flower of my youth
My soul leaves my body
I pray that I wake to the song of your demise
Sadly, you breathe, you live, you smell, you touch, you feel,
you kiss the insides of my terrified soul
My spirit watches the daily death of my heart
The 'creak' of my door quickens me to the shuffle of your feet,
I shut my eyes and my soul leaves.
Tonight my soul does not return to me...
In the dull lighting of my bedroom
Tonight my soul watches as yours
flees the fortress of my tainted flesh.

Avionelle Lindy Calder

Copyright © 2009

The Soul

Innocence lost,

The fallen angel yearns for her lost soul

Her tears stain the ground and begin the crimson tide.

The song of a soul in pain

The cry for memories long gone

The past that shatters the mist of the present

A soul in torment

I long to be free

I call your name from the hilltops

I beg you to hear my voice,

But your answer comes too late

My soul falls to the Darkness.

I long to be with you

But my soul won’t free me,

from the prison that I have built.

I know that you hear the terror in my voice

I know you see me standing on the edge.

But your hand is not long enough

to keep me from the rivers of insanity

I watch as you try to look into my soul

But I do not know you, I cannot see you

My love blinds me; but it does not

give me the strength to step out of the jaws of insanity

I step away from the fantasy of life

And into the real world of insanity

Where the borders of my world have jagged edges.

I embrace you but my spirit does not know you

The rage that consumes me will not accept the human touch

I long to feel you against my skin

To hold you, to become one with you,

But I do not wish to hurt you.

I have not embraced the force that rages in me

The power that gives me the strength to kill

I want to stand atop the highest mountain

and leap, watching my body hurtle to impending death

But love for you keeps me awake

Each night I think of you

and each morning I have the will to live

Sometimes I see you and the rage courses through my veins

The heat of anger eats at me like a cancerous growth

Daily I breathe the venom of my own hate

It does not hurt me, only those around me

Come back to me

Come, and let me wrap my arms around you

Let me kiss the flesh of your lips

Let us mingle and let all that I have course through you

Let my rages depart and touch the center of your soul. ©

Avionelle Lindy Calder

Copyright © 2010